How to Write Persuasive Copy. My Totally Legit Tips

As a copywriter, I'm always looking for ways to persuade my readers to take action. And let me tell you, I've got some tips that will blow your mind (or at least make you roll your eyes).

Tip #1: Use ALL CAPS.

That's right, folks. Want to get your message across loud and clear? USE ALL CAPS. Because everyone knows that nothing says "professional" like shouting at your audience. Trust me, they'll appreciate the effort.

Tip #2: Overuse Exclamation Points!!!

If ALL CAPS aren't enough to get your message across, throw in a few extra exclamation points!!! Because who needs subtlety when you can just shout your message at your readers?! Plus, everyone knows that more exclamation points = more convincing. It's science.

Tip #3: Repeat Yourself.

Want to really drive your point home? Just repeat yourself. Over and over and over again. Because if your readers don't get it the first time, they'll definitely get it the second or third (or fourth) time around. Trust me, they'll thank you for it.

Conclusion: Totally Legit Tips.

So there you have it, folks. My totally legit tips for writing "persuasive" copy. Will they work? Who knows. But at least you'll sound like a real pro (or a real loudmouth) when you use them.